Memorial Service Planning Guide: Step-by-Step Checklist

To plan a memorial service, settle what happens to the body first, then choose a date, a venue, who will lead and speak, and the running order, music, photos and refreshments. A memorial service is held without the body present, and there is no legal deadline, so most families give themselves a few weeks. A short checklist and a few delegated jobs make it manageable.

What is a memorial service?

A memorial service is a ceremony to honor someone who has died, held without the body present. It often follows a burial or cremation. The FTC says a memorial service can be held at the graveside or later after a direct burial. A funeral centers on the body and is usually held soon after the death. See what is a memorial service and memorial vs funeral service for the differences.

Memorial services have become more common because cremation is now the majority choice. The Cremation Association of North America (CANA) reports a 62.8% US rate for 2025, up from 57.2% in 2021, and projects 69.1% by 2030. With cremation, you can hold the ashes until you are ready. Our guide to cremation memorial service ideas has more.

Step 1: Decide who is coordinating

Pick one coordinator and a few helpers. The coordinator makes final calls, and helpers take specific jobs: food, music, photos, guest list, and someone to greet people on the day. Sharing the jobs prevents burnout and keeps the coordinator able to grieve.

Check who has the legal right to make arrangements. It depends on state law and usually starts with a spouse or next of kin. See who arranges a funeral. If the person left written wishes, find them now, and look beyond the will, since a separate letter or planner is often where funeral wishes are kept. Our My Funeral Wishes planner helps people record theirs ahead of time.

Step 2: Settle what happens to the body

The memorial planning usually starts after this decision. Options include burial, cremation, direct cremation, or body donation. If you are not sure, see cremation vs traditional funeral and body donation programs.

The Funeral Consumers Alliance says most states do not require you to use a funeral home, but nine do. Check your state, and see our funeral director guide. If you use a funeral home, it must give you its General Price List, and you can buy only the items you want. The FTC Funeral Rule requires this.

Step 3: Choose a date

There is no legal deadline, so you choose. Many families pick a date that lets people travel, or one that has meaning, such as a birthday or a favorite season. Give people as much notice as you can. Keep the ashes somewhere safe until you decide. See memorial service timing.

If you need a busy venue, or a particular celebrant, ask about availability before you fix the date. Our funeral planning timeline can help you lay out the steps.

Step 4: Choose a venue

The Funeral Consumers Alliance says a memorial service does not need to be held at a funeral home, and lists a place of worship, home, park, club, hotel or community center as options. Other choices include a garden, a restaurant, a library or a place that mattered to the person.

Ask each venue about:

• capacity and seating
• cost and what is included
• a sound system or screen
• food and alcohol rules
• parking and accessibility
• permits if it is a public space
• how early you can arrive to set up

The funeral venue planner estimates the space you need. See also memorial without a funeral home.

Step 5: Choose who leads and who speaks

Options include a clergy member, a celebrant, a friend or family member as host, or a funeral director. See what a funeral celebrant does, choosing an officiant and writing your own funeral service.

Choose a few speakers and ask them early. Keep tributes short. Emily Post suggests a eulogy should be no less than two minutes and no longer than eight to ten, and shorter if several people speak. See how to write a eulogy and eulogy delivery tips.

Step 6: Plan the running order

There is no fixed format. A typical memorial service includes:

1. Music or a slideshow as guests arrive
2. A welcome
3. A reading, poem or prayer, if wanted
4. Tributes and a eulogy
5. Music or a moment of silence
6. Closing words
7. A reception or gathering

Many families plan about an hour for the ceremony, which is a suggestion and not a rule. For a template, see the funeral service order template, opening words, readings and music.

Step 7: Prepare the program, photos and keepsakes

A printed program helps guests follow the service and gives them something to keep. Our memorial program template shows what to include and how to print it. Poems, lyrics and some Bible translations can be protected by copyright. The US Copyright Office says works created since 1978 are generally protected for the author's life plus 70 years, so check before printing them.

Other touches include:

• a memory table with photos and a few objects. See photos for a funeral display
• a slideshow or video tribute
• a guest book, or an online page for messages
• favors or keepsakes such as a memorial card or bookmark

For more ideas, see celebration of life ideas.

Step 8: Plan refreshments and the reception

A reception gives people time to share stories. It can be a full meal, finger food or tea and cake. Ask friends to help, and confirm whether the venue allows outside food. See planning a funeral reception and funeral reception food.

Step 9: Invite guests and include people who cannot attend

Share the date, time, place, dress request and any donation instructions in the obituary, by email or through a private online page. See obituaries for how to write one.

If people cannot travel, livestream or record the service, and share the program and photos afterward. Test the equipment and tell guests how to join. See virtual funeral services and recording a funeral service.

What does a memorial service cost?

There is no single national price, because it depends on what you include. Typical costs are the venue, food, printing, flowers, music, an officiant's fee, an urn if there was cremation and any livestream help.

If the service is at a funeral home, its General Price List must list a separate price for use of facilities and staff for a memorial service, along with its other charges. Funeral homes must also give price information over the phone. A home, park or community space usually avoids a facility fee, but may have venue fees or need a permit.

To separate the cost of the body's care from the ceremony, use the funeral vs memorial cost split. For help with who pays, see who pays for a funeral and average funeral cost breakdown.

If the person was a veteran

Veterans may be eligible for burial in a VA national cemetery and for military funeral honors. To schedule a burial, the VA asks for the DD214 or other discharge documents, and says that if you cannot find them, the National Cemetery Scheduling Office can help, though retrieval may take several days. The scheduling office's number is 800-535-1117. See veterans burial benefits and veteran cremation benefits.

Planning checklist

• Choose a coordinator and assign helpers
• Check for written wishes and who has authority to decide
• Settle burial, cremation or another option
• Choose a date and confirm the venue
• Choose the leader and the speakers
• Draft the running order and choose music and readings
• Gather photos and build the program
• Plan refreshments and a headcount
• Send invitations and set up any livestream
• Do a walk-through, test the sound and assign greeters

Common mistakes to avoid

• Doing everything alone. Hand out jobs early.
• Skipping any gathering. If the person wanted no fuss, a small, simple gathering can still help people say goodbye. See no service reasons.
• Letting the service run long. Keep the number of speakers small and agree on time limits.
• Not proofreading. Check names, dates and the address in the program.
• Overspending. Because there is no deadline, you can compare prices.
• Ignoring paperwork. While you plan the service, you may also need to get death certificates and notify agencies. Use the after-death checklist and our first week after a death guide.