Who Is Responsible for Arranging a Funeral? Legal Order and Who Pays

In the US, state law decides who has the right to arrange a funeral. The usual order is a person the deceased named in writing, then a surviving spouse, adult children, parents and adult siblings. The right to decide is separate from the duty to pay. The estate owes the funeral bill, but whoever signs the funeral home contract is normally the one the home expects to pay.

This guide covers the US first, with a short section for England and Wales. The details change from state to state, so treat the examples below as patterns, not rules for your state.

Who has the legal right to decide?

Lawyers call this the "right to control disposition" of the body. It covers burial or cremation, the funeral home, and the type of service. Every state has a priority list, and the funeral home will ask you for proof of where you stand on it. A typical list looks like this:

1. A person the deceased named in writing (often called an agent, representative or designated person)
2. A surviving spouse, and in some states a registered domestic partner
3. Adult children
4. Parents
5. Adult siblings
6. More distant relatives, a guardian or fiduciary, and in some states a public official

Here is how three states differ:

• Texas lists a person named in a signed document, then the spouse, adult children, parents and adult siblings, and only then the executor or administrator and more distant relatives.
• California lists the person's health care agent first, then the spouse, adult children, parents, adult siblings and next of kin by degree. When there are several adult children, the majority of them decide.
• New York lists a person named in a written instrument, the spouse, a domestic partner, adult children, parents and adult siblings. The written instrument has to be signed, dated and witnessed.

Florida's definition of the "legally authorized person" adds adult grandchildren and grandparents after siblings, and also recognizes a person the deceased designated on a military DD Form 93.

Being the closest, the oldest, the main caregiver or the one paying does not move you up the list. Only the law or a signed document does that. Our guide to state funeral laws is a good place to start looking up your own state.

Does a will, an executor or a power of attorney decide?

Often they do not, which surprises many families.

• The will. Wills are often found or read after the funeral, so they arrive too late to help. How much weight funeral wishes in a will carry depends on the state. California requires a person's written directions for disposition, including ones in a will, to be carried out, as long as payment has been arranged. Other states give them less force. See funeral wishes in a will.
• The executor. In many US states, the executor ranks below the spouse, children, parents and siblings, so being named executor does not by itself give you the final say. The executor handles the estate, including paying the funeral bill. See executor funeral responsibilities.
• A power of attorney. A power of attorney typically stays in effect only while the person is alive, so it does not usually carry over to the funeral. California is an exception only because its funeral statute names a health care agent. See power of attorney and funeral.

The most reliable way to settle who decides is a signed document naming one person to carry out the funeral wishes. Our guide to appointing a funeral representative explains how to do it.

What if the person in charge does not act?

Some states set a clock. Under Texas law, if the person with the right does not make final arrangements before the earlier of the sixth day after learning of the death or the tenth day after the death, the right passes to the next person in line. That keeps a funeral from stalling when someone cannot be reached or does not respond.

Other situations come up often:

• Unmarried partners. A partner who is not a spouse or registered domestic partner is often not on the priority list unless the deceased named them in writing. See funeral planning for an unmarried partner and ex-partner funeral rights.
• Estranged relatives. Your rank on the list usually applies even when you were not close. See funeral for an estranged parent.
• No family at all. A friend may be able to act in some states, and a public official is the last on some lists. See funeral arrangements with no family.

What happens if relatives disagree?

When two or more people share the same rank, such as three adult children, the law decides how they settle it, and it differs by state. California lets the majority of the adult children decide. In Texas and New York, a dispute among people with an equal right goes to a court.

The funeral home is usually protected if it waits. Texas says a cemetery or funeral establishment is not liable for refusing to accept the remains in a dispute until it receives a court order. New York protects funeral directors and crematory operators who act reasonably and in good faith on a written instrument or on a written statement from a person claiming priority, and it sends disputes to court. For cremation, Florida lets a funeral establishment rely on one person in a class who says they know of no objection from others in the same class or a higher one. Cremation cannot be undone, so many homes will not proceed when someone has objected.

Choose one person to talk to the funeral home, and consider a compromise such as a small private service now and a larger memorial later. Our guide on sibling disagreements over a funeral goes through the options in detail.

Who pays for the funeral?

The person who arranges the funeral and the person who pays are not always the same.

The FTC explains that a person's debts are owed by and paid from the estate, and that family members generally are not personally responsible unless they cosigned, are a surviving spouse in a community property state or a state that requires spouses to pay certain debts, or otherwise took on the debt. The FTC page is about debts in general and does not single out funeral bills.

In practice:

• Signing the contract usually makes you responsible. A funeral home contract is an ordinary contract. If you sign it, the home will expect payment from you whether or not the estate has money yet. Read it to see whether you are signing for yourself or for the estate.
• Some state laws add to this. In Texas, the person with the right to control disposition is liable for the reasonable cost of burial and can seek reimbursement from the estate. In California, liability for the reasonable cost of final disposition falls jointly on all relatives of the same degree of kinship and on the estate.
• The estate pays funeral costs early. Funeral costs are normally paid ahead of most other debts. In Texas, funeral expenses are a first-priority claim up to $15,000. Other states set their own limits.
• Money may not be available at once. The Funeral Consumers Alliance warns that funds in an ordinary account can be held up while a will goes through probate, and that you or your family are responsible for the bill. Accounts that pass directly to a named person, such as payable-on-death accounts, are released without probate. Ask the bank whether it can pay the funeral home directly, since policies vary. See how to access a bank account for funeral costs and who pays for a funeral.

Before you sign anything, ask for the funeral home's General Price List. The FTC Funeral Rule gives you the right to get prices by phone, to choose only the goods and services you want, and to receive an itemized statement before you pay.

What if no one can afford it?

The Funeral Consumers Alliance says some states and county social services departments help with the funeral costs of a person who had little or no money, though the amount is usually minimal, often barely covering a direct cremation or burial. Call the county before you sign a contract, because some programs need approval first. Our guides on government help with funeral costs and what to do if you cannot afford a funeral explain the options.

What is different in England and Wales?

In England and Wales, a relative, close friend or the executor named in a will usually arranges the funeral. Citizens Advice says the person who arranges it must pay, though you can ask the bank to pay the funeral director's invoice from the person's account even if it is frozen. Funeral wishes in a will are usually respected but are not legally binding. If no one steps forward, the local or health authority arranges a simple funeral. GOV.UK notes that the funeral can usually take place only after the death is registered, unless a coroner is investigating. Our guide to UK funeral financial help covers the Funeral Expenses Payment and other support.

Make it easier for your own family

Most funeral disputes can be avoided with two steps: write down what you want, and name one person to carry it out. Share it with everyone who might have an opinion. Our guide on telling your family your funeral wishes shows how.

What to do next

1. Find out whether the person named anyone in writing, and look for a will, funeral wishes or a prepaid plan.
2. Check your state's priority list to see who has the right, and talk to the funeral home early.
3. Agree on how the bill will be paid before anyone signs.
4. Keep every receipt and ask the executor, in writing, to repay what you advance from the estate.