Complete Guide to Obituaries: Tools, Checklists, and Essential Guides

Writing an obituary is one of the most significant, yet emotionally taxing, tasks a person can undertake during the grieving process. It is more than just a public announcement of a passing; it is a permanent historical record and a final tribute to a unique life. In this comprehensive obituary guide, we will navigate the evolving landscape of 2025 and 2026, providing you with the tools, checklists, and expert insights needed to honor your loved one with dignity and safety.

Whether you are tasked with writing an obituary for the first time or are pre-planning your own legacy, understanding the nuances of modern memorialization is essential. From the rising costs of print media to the emergence of "grief tech," this guide serves as your roadmap through the logistical and emotional complexities of saying goodbye.

Understanding the Basics: Obituary vs. Death Notice

Before you begin the writing process, it is important to understand what exactly you are creating. Many people use the terms "obituary" and "death notice" interchangeably, but in the funeral industry and media world, they serve very different purposes.

The Death Notice

A death notice is a short, factual, and typically paid advertisement. Its primary function is to notify the public of a death and provide the essential details of the upcoming services. It is brief—usually only three to five sentences—and focuses strictly on the "who, when, and where."

The Obituary

An obituary is a longer, narrative-style piece that celebrates the deceased’s life. While it contains the same factual information as a death notice, it goes much deeper, exploring the person’s character, achievements, hobbies, and the legacy they leave behind. In 2025, the obituary has become an "experience," often hosted on digital platforms that allow for photos, videos, and interactive comments.

For a deeper dive into which option fits your needs and budget, see our comparison on Obituary vs Death Notice (Differences, Typical Costs, and How to Choose).

The Financial Reality of Obituaries in 2025

The cost of honoring a loved one in print has risen significantly over the last decade. In major metropolitan areas, a full-page or even a half-column obituary in a major newspaper can be a significant financial burden.

• Newspaper Costs: Depending on the circulation and the city, you might pay anywhere from $100 to over $2,000. Many papers charge by the line or by the inch, meaning photos and long lists of survivors can quickly escalate the price.
• Online Alternatives: Digital-only memorials are the fastest-growing segment of the industry. Sites like Legacy.com or those hosted by funeral homes often charge a flat fee of $50 to $100, and many funeral homes now include a digital obituary as part of their standard service package.

How to Write an Obituary: The Step-by-Step Narrative

When you sit down to begin writing an obituary, the blank page can feel overwhelming. As a funeral director, I always recommend breaking the process down into manageable sections.

The Lead: Beyond the "Deep Sorrow"

The opening of an obituary sets the tone. While traditional openings often start with "It is with deep sorrow that we announce...", modern trends in 2025 suggest a more immediate, personality-driven approach.

Example 1 (Traditional): "Jane Smith, age 82, of Chicago, passed away on June 1st after a long illness."

Example 2 (Personality-Driven): "Jane Smith never met a stray cat she didn't feed or a crossword puzzle she couldn't solve. On June 1, 2025, Chicago’s most formidable baker and beloved grandmother peacefully hung up her apron."

The Biographical Sketch

This is the heart of the tribute. Instead of a dry resume of jobs and schools, focus on the "vivid snapshot." What were the quirks that made them who they were? Did they have an obsession with a specific sports team? Were they known for a specific catchphrase?

The Family Tree

List the surviving family members and those who preceded the deceased in death. This is often the most scrutinized section of an obituary, so accuracy is paramount.

Service Details and Memorials

Clearly state the time, date, and location of the funeral or celebration of life. If the family prefers donations to flowers, provide clear instructions and links to the chosen charity.

For more detailed writing techniques, visit How to Write an Obituary (Step-by-Step and What to Expect).

Modern Trends: AI, Tech, and Digital Twins (2025-2026)

The way we remember the dead is changing rapidly. Technology is no longer just a tool for publishing; it is becoming part of the memorial itself.

AI-Assisted Writing

AI tools like Legacy’s ObitWriter have become mainstream. These tools can take a list of facts and generate a cohesive draft in seconds. However, as a specialist, I caution families: AI lacks the soul of your loved one. Use AI for the structure, but always inject your own memories and specific anecdotes to ensure it doesn't feel generic.

The Rise of "Grief Tech"

We are seeing the emergence of "digital twins"—AI chatbots trained on the writings, emails, and social media posts of the deceased. While controversial, some families find comfort in "interacting" with a version of their loved one's personality. Additionally, QR codes on headstones that link to multimedia obituaries are now a standard offering in many modern cemeteries.

Official Obituary Labels

Because of the rise of misinformation and "obituary scraping" websites, many platforms are now implementing "Official Obituary" badges. This ensures that the information provided is verified by the funeral home or the family, protecting the deceased’s legacy from being used for clickbait.

Safety and Privacy: Protecting the Living

One of the most critical aspects of this obituary guide is the section on safety. In the digital age, obituaries have become a primary source of data for scammers and "obituary pirates."

How to Stay Safe:

1. Omit Exact Birthdates: List the year of birth, but not the specific day and month. This makes identity theft much harder.
2. Avoid Home Addresses: Never list the deceased's home address or the specific addresses of survivors.
3. Be Vague with Grandchildren: Instead of listing "Grandchildren: Emma (5) and Liam (3) of Maple Street," simply list "two beloved grandchildren."
4. The "House Sitter" Rule: Never publish a funeral time without ensuring someone is physically staying at the deceased’s (or the primary survivor's) home during the service. Burglars frequently target homes listed in obituaries.

The Essential Obituary Checklist

Gather these details before you start writing:

• Full Legal Name: (Including maiden names or nicknames).
• Age and Date of Death: (Be mindful of the privacy tips above).
• City of Residence: (Avoid specific street addresses).
• Education and Military Service: (Include branch and rank if applicable).
• Career Highlights: (Focus on what they were proud of, not just their title).
• Hobbies and Passions: (What did they do on a Saturday morning?).
• Family Members: (Check spelling twice).
• Service Information: (Date, time, location, officiant).
• Memorial Preferences: (Charities, dress codes, or specific requests).
• A High-Quality Photo: (Ensure it represents their spirit, not just their most recent appearance).

For more information on how length affects these choices, see Obituary Length and Format (Options and Timeline).

Common Mistakes to Avoid

1. The "Dry Resume" Trap: Don't just list jobs. Mention the person's character. Were they kind? Were they notoriously stubborn? The best obituaries are those that make a stranger feel like they knew the person.
2. Cliché Overload: Avoid phrases like "will be missed by all who knew them." Instead, try "the neighborhood won't be the same without his daily 6 AM walks and loud greetings."
3. Missing the Deadline: Newspapers have very strict "cutoff" times. If you miss the window for the Sunday edition, you may have to wait several days for the next publication, which can affect funeral attendance.
4. Inaccurate Logistics: Ensure the address of the funeral home or church is 100% correct. If a guest puts the wrong address into their GPS, they may miss the service entirely.

Conclusion: Honoring a Legacy

Writing an obituary is a profound act of love. While the logistical hurdles—from costs to privacy concerns—can feel daunting, the core mission remains the same: telling the story of a life lived. By following this obituary guide, you are not just checking boxes; you are ensuring that your loved one's story is told with accuracy, safety, and heart.

As we move through 2025 and 2026, the tools we use to remember may change, but the human need to be remembered remains eternal. Take your time, ask for help, and focus on the small, beautiful details that made your loved one who they were.