Washing and Dressing a Body at Home: Steps and Timing

In most states a family can wash and dress a loved one's body at home. Use warm water and very little soap, work gently one area at a time, and dress them in clothing that suits the burial or cremation to come. It is easiest in the first hours after death, before rigor mortis sets in, but there is no legal deadline. Nine states require a funeral director for some tasks, so check your state's rules first.

Can a family wash and dress the body?

Usually, yes. The Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA) says that in most states a family, community or religious group can handle a death without a funeral director, including preparing the body for burial. The FCA also says a funeral director can be hired for specific tasks, such as paperwork or transport, while the family does the care. An end-of-life doula or home funeral guide can help too.

Nine states (Connecticut, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Michigan, Nebraska, New Jersey and New York) require a funeral director for some tasks, such as filing the death certificate or moving the body. Our home funeral FAQ covers the state rules in more detail.

If you want to be part of the care but use a funeral home, ask whether they allow family into the preparation room. Some do and some do not.

When should you start?

Start when you are ready, and when the authorities and the hospice or doctor have confirmed the death and said it is fine to proceed. Beyond that, timing is flexible.

The Home Funeral Alliance (HFA) explains the body's changes this way:

• Rigor mortis typically sets in within the first few hours, though not in every case. It usually passes after about 24 hours, and can range from 12 to 48.
• Small muscles stiffen first, so the HFA advises tending to the eyes, mouth and hands early.
• Gentle massage can help ease stiff limbs into a new position, if you are caring for the body after rigor has set in.

So there is no magic window. Early care is simply easier. If you start later, you can still wash and dress the person, but the limbs may need more patience. If you will keep the body at home for a day or more, plan how to keep it cool. See keeping the body at home and cooling the body at home.

What do you need?

Gather these before you begin:

• Warm water, mild soap and a basin
• Soft washcloths and towels
• Absorbent pads or towels to protect the bed, since fluids can be released as muscles relax
• A sheet or towel to keep the person covered
• Disposable gloves
• Clothing or a shroud, and a comb or brush
• Items for closing the eyes and mouth (see below)
• Two or three helpers, since turning a body takes more than one person

How do you wash the body?

The HFA describes bathing as a meaningful ritual that can be as simple as soap and water. Work gently and keep the person covered as you go.

1. Wash your hands and put on gloves. The HFA recommends the standard precautions you would use when caring for someone.
2. Uncover one area at a time. Wash with warm soapy water, section by section, while the rest of the body stays covered.
3. Pay attention to skin folds and creases where skin touches skin.
4. Do not soak or oversaturate the body. The HFA says the skin will not rehydrate after death.
5. Blot, don't rub, to dry. A helper can dry each area as you finish it.
6. Turn the person with help. Roll them to one side to wash and dry the back, then roll them back. Slide a clean sheet or garment under them as you go.
7. Finish with oral care. The HFA suggests sweeping the mouth gently with a wet cloth, since oral tissue is fragile, then brushing lightly or using a swab, and drying the mouth.

Fingernail trimming, brushing the hair, or applying a favorite lotion or oil are personal touches many families add. Take your time. Many families say the washing is a way to say goodbye. Our family-directed funeral guide shows how the care fits into the first days.

How do you close the eyes and mouth?

The HFA describes simple methods that need no special skill.

Eyes

• Place a small bag, weighted eye pillow or a bag of rice or sand over the eyes.
• Or place a little cotton on the eyes, optionally with a dab of petroleum jelly so the lids grip.

Mouth

• Tie a cloth wrap around the head and jaw. The HFA says it usually takes 1 to 2 hours before the mouth stays closed without it.
• Or place a rolled towel under the chin until the jaw stays closed.
• Or use a dental tie, with floss around the upper and lower front teeth, tied together.

Use whichever feels right. If something does not work, you can try another method, or ask a hospice nurse or home funeral guide to show you.

What should the body wear?

Clothing is a personal choice. Many families choose a favorite outfit, soft pajamas, or a simple shroud. What suits best depends on what happens next:

The Cremation Association of North America (CANA) says personal items such as jewelry and watches are removed and returned to the family, and that non-combustible items may not be cremated because they can damage the equipment. Ask the crematory before you choose anything with metal. If the person has a pacemaker or other implant, tell the funeral home or crematory. See pacemaker cremation, what the body wears for cremation and our shroud burial guide.

To dress a person who cannot help, roll them to one side, slide the garment under, then roll them back and pull it through. If clothing is tight, a family may open or cut the back seam so it can be laid over the body and tucked in, and may leave shoes off.

Is it safe, and does it need embalming?

For most deaths, yes. The HFA says a dead person is no more dangerous than they were alive, and the gloves and hand washing you would use for caregiving are enough. Some conditions call for more care, including tuberculosis, COVID-19, hepatitis B and C, HIV and Ebola. If the person had one of these, ask the doctor or hospice team before you start.

Embalming is not required for washing or dressing. The FCA says it is rarely required by law, and a private viewing by family and friends can happen without it. See embalming required by law and viewing without embalming.

What about religious washing?

Many faiths have their own rituals, and some are performed only by trained members of the community.

• In Jewish practice, tahara is a ritual washing carried out by a trained group called the chevra kadisha, or by the funeral home. Men care for men and women for women. See tahara ritual.
• In Muslim practice, the body is washed in a ritual called ghusl. See ghusl washing.

Practices vary within every faith, so talk to your faith leader before you begin.

What to do next

1. Check your state's rules on family care and paperwork, and confirm the doctor or hospice has pronounced the death.
2. Choose between burial and cremation, which decides what the body can wear.
3. Gather supplies and ask two or three people to help.
4. If you want more support, ask a hospice nurse or find a home funeral guide, and keep the body cool if it will stay home more than a day.