Bereavement Leave: Your Rights, How Long It Lasts and How to Ask

There is no federal law requiring US employers to give bereavement leave, paid or unpaid. Whether you get time off, how many days, and whether you are paid depend on your state and your employer's policy. A few states protect the leave by law: California guarantees up to five days, and Oregon allows up to two weeks per death for eligible employees of covered employers. Elsewhere, your employee handbook is the place to start.

Does federal law require bereavement leave?

No. The US Department of Labor says the Fair Labor Standards Act does not require payment for time not worked, including attending a funeral, and that funeral leave is generally a matter of agreement between employer and employee.

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) does not fill the gap. It gives eligible employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave a year, but its reasons are a new child, caring for a spouse, child or parent with a serious health condition, your own serious health condition, and certain military family needs. To be eligible you need to have worked for a covered employer for 12 months and 1,250 hours, at a site with at least 50 employees within 75 miles. Grief alone is not a listed reason. If it leads to a health condition that stops you working, ask your doctor whether it could count.

Which states have bereavement leave laws?

A small but growing group of states has rules. These three show the range of approaches, based on the statute text. Other states and some cities have their own rules, and laws change, so confirm with your state labor department.

California's definition of family member includes a spouse, child, parent, sibling, grandparent, grandchild, domestic partner and parent-in-law. Oregon and Colorado use their own definitions.

California also has a separate reproductive loss leave law. Employees of employers with 5 or more employees can take up to 5 days after a miscarriage, stillbirth, failed adoption, failed surrogacy or unsuccessful assisted reproduction, within 3 months of the event. If you have a pregnancy loss, see our guide to miscarriage memorial options.

How long is bereavement leave?

Outside those states, the length is set by your employer. Many policies give a few days for a spouse, child or parent and fewer for more distant relatives, but there is wide variation, and some employers offer more. Only your employer's handbook or HR team can tell you yours.

If the days you are offered are not enough, you can often:

• add vacation, personal days or sick leave,
• ask for unpaid time or a reduced schedule,
• spread days out, for example some now and some for a memorial or burial held later, and
• ask for remote work for a few weeks.

Ask for any agreement in writing. Where a state law applies, it protects the leave. Elsewhere, written approval helps prevent a later dispute.

Is bereavement leave paid?

Sometimes, but not always. A state law that guarantees leave does not necessarily guarantee pay; in California, for example, the leave can be unpaid unless the employer already has a paid policy. If your employer has a paid policy that gives fewer than five days, California requires it to provide unpaid days to reach five.

Ask HR three things: how many days you get, whether they are paid, and whether they can be split.

Who counts as family?

Employers define "immediate family" differently. Spouses, children and parents are almost always covered. Siblings, grandparents, in-laws and domestic partners are often covered, but not everywhere. If the person who died was a close friend, a step-relative or someone who raised you, ask whether HR will make an exception, or use personal days or sick leave.

How do I ask for bereavement leave?

1. Tell your manager or HR as soon as you can. A short message is enough: "A family member has died. I need to take bereavement leave starting [date] and expect to return on [date]. I'll send a note about urgent work."
2. Ask what the policy covers. Find out the number of days, pay, who qualifies, and whether you can split the days.
3. Ask what documents they need. In California an employer may ask for a death certificate, a published obituary or written verification of death from a mortuary, funeral home or religious institution within 30 days of the start of the leave. Elsewhere it depends on the employer.
4. Hand off urgent work. Name one person to cover and stop checking email if you can.
5. Plan your return. If possible, ask for a lighter first week.

Our guide to a funeral leave letter has wording you can copy, and employer death notification covers telling a workplace when the person who died was an employee.

What should I do with my days off?

Most people need the time for the funeral and for paperwork. Many tasks cannot wait long, such as getting death certificates, notifying Social Security and contacting banks.

Later steps include notifying banks about a death and closing email accounts. If you are the executor, you may need more time off later for estate work, so ask whether unused days can be taken in pieces.

Going back to work

The first weeks back can be hard. Concentration and sleep may suffer, and feelings can come in waves. Tell your manager what you can and cannot take on, and ask about an employee assistance program (EAP), which often includes free counseling. Our guide to returning to work after a death has more practical tips. If grief is not easing and is stopping you working, see complicated grief and talk to a doctor.

Tips for employers and managers

• Write the policy down, including days, pay, relationships covered and proof needed, and apply it consistently.
• Keep proof requirements light. Grieving people should not have to chase paperwork.
• Do not share the cause of death or other details without the employee's permission.
• Check your state's rules. State laws can reach smaller employers than federal ones do; California's bereavement law, for example, applies at 5 employees.

What to do next

1. Read your employee handbook or ask HR for the written bereavement policy.
2. Look up your state's rules on your labor department's website, or call them.
3. Put your request and any extra time you agree in writing.
4. Use the checklist above to decide which tasks need your days off and which can wait.