Buddhist Funeral Traditions: Rituals, the 49 Days and Guest Etiquette

Buddhist funerals are not one fixed ceremony. Most Buddhists are cremated, following the example of the Buddha, and services usually centre on chanting by monks or priests, an altar with a portrait of the person, and merit-making on their behalf. What happens before, during and after the service depends on the family's tradition (Zen, Pure Land, Theravada, Tibetan or another) and their culture.

What is a Buddhist funeral for?

In most Buddhist traditions, death is a change from one life to the next rather than an end. A funeral is a chance to support the person who has died, usually through chanting and through merit: good deeds, offerings and prayers that the family dedicates to the person. It is also a moment for the living to reflect on impermanence.

The Buddhist Society is clear that no single ritual exists across all Buddhist traditions, and that services vary depending on whether the person followed Zen, Tibetan, Theravada or Pure Land Buddhism. If you are arranging a funeral, the best first call is to the family's temple, teacher or monk.

Do Buddhists cremate or bury?

Most Buddhists follow the Buddha's example and choose cremation, though the Buddhist Society says this is not invariably the case. Practice follows culture. In Japan, for example, about 99.8% of the dead were cremated, according to figures from 2007.

Tibetan Buddhist communities have traditionally practised sky burial (jhator, "alms to the birds"), in which the body is offered to birds. It is understood as a final act of generosity, and it is carried out in Tibetan regions of China and in places such as Mongolia, Nepal, Bhutan and parts of India. It is not a practical option in the US, so families here choose burial or cremation.

What happens right after a death?

Many traditions ask that the body be disturbed as little as possible between death and cremation or burial. The Buddhist Society says some traditions recommend a minimum of four hours before the body is moved, while others ask for at least three and a half days before cremation or an autopsy. It also advises avoiding embalming if possible, and it describes the ideal death as one in an atmosphere of peace, calm and sensitivity, ideally with a teacher or community member present.

These wishes can be hard to meet in a hospital or when a medical examiner is involved, so say what matters to your family as early as you can. In the US, the Funeral Consumers Alliance notes that embalming is rarely required by law. No state requires it when burial or cremation happens within two days, and refrigeration is a common alternative.

How funerals differ between traditions

Sources for the table: Lion's Roar, BuddhaNet and the Salt Lake Buddhist Temple. Chinese traditions, which are not in the table, often hold prayers every seven days for 49 days, and some add a final observance on the 100th day.

What are the 49 days?

Many Tibetan, Chinese and Japanese Buddhists understand the 49 days after death as an in-between state before rebirth. Families hold prayers or services during that time, often once a week, and dedicate the merit to the person who has died. Not every school sees it this way. The Salt Lake Buddhist Temple notes that Jodo Shinshu denies that such observances change what happens to the person, though families still keep them as a time for remembrance and reflection. Our guide to the 49 days in Buddhism goes through the weekly rhythm in more detail.

In Japanese practice, memorial services (hoji) continue after the 49 days at set years. The Salt Lake Buddhist Temple lists years 1, 3, 7, 13, 17, 25, 33 and 50 after the death.

What to expect at a service

A service typically includes an altar with a portrait of the person, flowers and fruit, chanting led by monks or priests, and some form of offering or dedication of merit. For example, at a Japanese-style wake guests offer incense three times in front of the altar while the priest chants. After a Japanese cremation, relatives take part in kotsuage, using long chopsticks to move the bones into the urn. For more on that tradition, see our guide to Japanese funeral traditions. If you want to know what the chanting means, see our guide to Buddhist funeral chanting.

Guest etiquette

Friends of any faith are generally welcome. Some practical points, based on what the sources above describe:

• Dress: wear dark, modest clothing. At a Japanese-style wake guests wear black formal clothes, but in some Sri Lankan Theravada communities mourners wear white, so ask the family if you are unsure.
• Condolence money: in Japanese tradition guests bring money in a special envelope (koden or okoden). Other communities may not do this, so ask.
• Incense and bowing: if incense is offered, copy what the family does. You are not usually expected to chant or take part in rituals you are not comfortable with.
• Talking to monks: greet monks respectfully and follow the family's lead on how to address them.

For general advice, see our guides on funeral etiquette and what to wear to a funeral.

Planning a Buddhist funeral

1. Contact your temple or teacher. They can tell you which tradition's service to follow and whether a monk or priest is available.
2. Decide on burial or cremation, and ask the funeral home about timing and any waiting you want between death and cremation.
3. Choose the service format. Some families hold a wake and funeral, others hold a short service followed by memorial services at set intervals.
4. Plan for offerings. Families often give an offering or donation to the temple or monks and may arrange food for guests.
5. Decide what happens to the ashes. Our guide on what to do with ashes covers the options.
6. Write your wishes down. The Buddhist Society suggests recording your preferred tradition, texts and chants in your will, and giving your family current contact details for your Buddhist community or teacher.

If your family follows more than one faith, our guide to interfaith funeral planning can help you combine them.