Veteran Spouse Joint Burial: Can a Spouse Be Buried With a Veteran?

Yes. An eligible spouse can be buried with a veteran in a VA national cemetery at no cost, and the VA says that holds even if the spouse dies before the veteran. Generally one gravesite and one headstone serve the whole family, and the spouse's name and dates are inscribed on the veteran's headstone at no charge.

Who counts as an eligible spouse?

Eligibility flows from the veteran. If the veteran qualifies for a national cemetery, these family members generally do too:

• A spouse or surviving spouse. Federal law says a surviving spouse includes one who remarried after the veteran's death.
• Minor children, under 21, or under 23 if in full-time approved education.
• Unmarried adult children who became permanently disabled before age 21 (or 23 in school) and cannot support themselves.

A former spouse who divorced the veteran is not eligible, unless that person is a veteran too. The VA may ask for a death certificate, divorce decree or Social Security statement to confirm status. The veteran must have served and not received a dishonorable discharge. See national cemetery eligibility and honorable discharge and burial for the service rules.

What does the VA provide for a spouse?

In a national cemetery, the VA provides these at no cost to the family for an eligible spouse:

• burial with the veteran
• opening and closing of the grave
• perpetual care
• the spouse's name, birth date and death date inscribed on the veteran's headstone

The family pays the funeral home, the casket or cremation and the urn. The burial allowance is for the veteran's burial costs, and the VA says it may help offset costs "for eligible Veterans." For amounts and deadlines see VA burial allowance.

One grave, or two?

The VA's rule is that generally one gravesite and one headstone serve all eligible family members. That is why a spouse is typically buried with the veteran, and why the marker lists both names.

When two veterans are married, the VA can provide separate, side-by-side gravesites with individual headstones if you ask. If two veterans share a privately bought headstone, two VA medallions can be attached if the local cemetery official approves.

The cemetery assigns the gravesite when a burial is scheduled, and you cannot reserve a specific one ahead of time. Ask the scheduling office how your couple's burials would be arranged. Our guide to veteran burial plot selection explains what a pre-need letter does and does not do. For joint burial in other settings, see two people in one grave.

What if the spouse dies first?

The spouse can still be buried in the national cemetery. The VA says eligible spouses and dependents may be buried even if they predecease the veteran, and the inscription goes on the veteran's headstone. This matters because the spouse's eligibility depends on the veteran's, and the paperwork may not exist yet.

Before the first death:

1. Find the veteran's DD214 or other discharge papers. Next of kin can request a deceased veteran's records from the National Archives, but it says standard requests typically take about 90 days.
2. Apply for pre-need eligibility using VA Form 40-10007, online or by mail to the NCA Evidence Intake Center, PO Box 5237, Janesville, WI 53547. The VA says it cannot guarantee your preferred cemetery, and a pre-need letter does not reserve a gravesite.
3. Keep copies of the marriage certificate and the pre-need letter together, and tell your family where they are.

If the veteran is still living, ask the cemetery how the marker will be handled after the spouse's burial, since it will eventually carry both names.

What if you choose a private cemetery or a state cemetery?

State cemeteries set their own rules, so ask what they charge for a spouse. See state veterans cemeteries.

What about cremation?

The VA says cremated remains are buried or inurned in a national cemetery in the same manner and with the same honors as a casket. An eligible spouse can be cremated and placed with the veteran, and VA's regulation describes a suitable urn as durable (plastic, wood, metal or ceramic) with a secure closure. Ask the cemetery whether the ashes can go into the veteran's existing gravesite or a niche. See veteran cremation benefits.

How do you schedule a spouse's burial?

The next of kin or the funeral director calls the National Cemetery Scheduling Office at 800-535-1117 (TTY 711), Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. Eastern. They send the veteran's discharge papers by email to NCA.Scheduling@va.gov or by fax to 866-900-6417. Have the spouse's details and proof of the marriage ready. National cemeteries are open for burials Monday through Friday.

Mistakes to avoid

• Assuming burial is automatic. Someone must request it, and the VA must confirm eligibility.
• Mixing up VA cemeteries and Arlington. Arlington has separate, stricter rules and says eligibility is verified at the time of death. See Arlington eligibility.
• Overlooking state cemeteries. A state cemetery may be closer, and federal law lets states accept some people a national cemetery would turn away.
• Buying a second headstone. In a national cemetery, the spouse's inscription goes on the veteran's headstone at no cost.

What to do next

1. Locate the DD214 and the marriage certificate.
2. Apply for pre-need eligibility for the veteran and keep the letter with your will.
3. Decide whether a national, state or private cemetery fits, and call to ask about space and fees.
4. Tell your family the cemetery and who to call, 800-535-1117 for a national cemetery.