Funeral After a Suicide: Practical Steps, Obituary Wording and Insurance

A funeral after a suicide can be whatever kind of service your family chooses, and you decide how much to say about the cause. Because a suicide is investigated as an unnatural death, the medical examiner or coroner will usually be involved first, which can delay the release of your loved one's body. The funeral itself is arranged in the usual way, with a few extra decisions about wording, clergy and insurance.

If you are reading this in the first days after a loss, you do not have to do everything at once. Take the steps below in order, ask for help, and let people do things for you.

What happens first?

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) says authorities must investigate a suicide as an unnatural death, usually with the medical examiner or coroner. It explains what that can mean for families:

• Police and the investigation. Police may limit access to the body and the home until their initial investigation is done, and they may take personal items, including notes. AFSP suggests asking for an inventory of what was taken.
• An autopsy. The medical examiner may be required to do one to establish the cause of death. Next of kin have the right to ask for a copy of the report.
• Viewing the body. You can choose to see your loved one or ask someone else to identify them. AFSP says research suggests most survivors felt viewing helped them accept the death, and suggests having a trusted person look first if you are worried. The medical examiner may discourage a viewing if there was significant damage.

Ask the investigator for an expected release date before you book a service or pay a non-refundable deposit. Our guide to coroner investigations explains the process and why the timing varies. For the other tasks in the first days, see the first week after a death.

Who arranges the funeral?

The same rules apply as for any death. In the US, state law sets an order of priority that usually begins with a person the deceased named in writing, then a spouse, adult children, parents and siblings. See who is responsible for arranging a funeral. If relatives disagree about the arrangements, see sibling disagreements over a funeral.

When you choose a funeral home, AFSP suggests making sure it is comfortable handling a death by suicide. The FTC Funeral Rule gives you the right to a written General Price List and to choose only the services you want. Our General Price List guide shows how to compare homes.

What kind of service can you hold?

There is no required format. Some families choose:

• A traditional funeral with a visitation, a service and burial or cremation
• A private family burial or cremation now, and a larger memorial or celebration of life later
• A celebration of life in a garden, community hall or favorite place, with stories and music

A private committal first can be a relief when the shock is raw. A larger gathering later gives friends a chance to come and gives you time to plan. See celebration of life vs. memorial and memorial service planning.

Many families build the service around who the person was: their work, friends, music and what made them laugh. Speakers do not need to explain the death. Our guides on writing a eulogy and what to say at a funeral can help.

Do you have to say it was suicide?

No. AFSP says this is your decision. It also says that including the cause avoids repeated questions and rumors and lets people support you appropriately, and that most survivors were glad they were honest about the facts of the death. Some families prefer to say the person died unexpectedly and share more with close friends. Both are valid.

If you do say it, some points to consider:

• Wording. Many families choose "died by suicide," because "committed suicide" can sound like a crime or a sin. You can also say "died of depression" or "died after a long struggle with mental illness" if that is true and you want to.
• Method. Leave out the method and graphic details. Suicide prevention groups advise against details that could harm vulnerable readers or listeners.
• Donations. AFSP suggests considering a memorial donation "in lieu of flowers." You can pick a mental health charity or a cause the person cared about. See asking for funeral donations.

For help with the obituary itself, see obituaries guide and obituary vs. death notice.

What do different faiths say?

Practices vary within every tradition, so ask your own clergy rather than assume. AFSP suggests discussing the clergy's understanding of suicide beforehand, and finding a more sympathetic leader if that is needed.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says in paragraph 2282 that grave psychological disturbances, anguish or grave fear of hardship, suffering or torture can diminish the responsibility of the person who dies by suicide. Paragraph 2283 says we should not despair of the eternal salvation of those who have taken their own lives. See Catholic funeral Mass and burial.

For other traditions, see our guides on Jewish funeral traditions and Muslim funeral traditions, and talk to your rabbi, imam or other leader about what applies in your community. If you do not want a religious service, a celebrant can lead a service of any kind.

How do insurance and money work?

Check any life insurance policy early. Many policies have a suicide clause, and the length and rules depend on the policy and the state.

The Texas Department of Insurance explains how it works there. During the first two years of a policy, companies usually will not pay the death benefit if the cause is suicide, and the premiums are returned to the beneficiary. After two years, the company must pay the death benefit regardless of the cause of death. Texas also requires companies to pay within two months after receiving proof of death and verifying the beneficiary. Other states and policies differ, so read the policy and ask the insurer in writing for the exact terms.

If a claim is denied, ask for the reason in writing and get the policy reviewed by an attorney or your state insurance department. See claiming life insurance, funeral insurance exclusions and what to do if a funeral insurance claim is denied.

If money is tight, see who pays for a funeral and government help with funeral costs.

How do you talk to children?

AFSP advises giving children truthful information in words they can understand, encouraging questions, and reassuring them that they are not responsible. Be ready to repeat the conversation as they grow, and consider a children's bereavement support group. AFSP offers a booklet, "Children, Teens and Suicide Loss." Our guides on explaining death to children and children at funerals have more.

Where can you find support?

The CDC notes that people bereaved by suicide may experience prolonged grief, shock, anger, guilt, depression or anxiety, and sometimes thoughts of suicide themselves. That is why support matters for you, too.

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call, text or chat at 988, 24 hours a day. It is for people in distress and for those worried about someone else. Veterans can press 1.
• AFSP Healing Conversations. You can talk with a volunteer who has also lost someone to suicide. AFSP also keeps a directory of support groups, though it does not run or endorse specific groups.
• Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors. A nonprofit with a free online community, resources and a memorial wall.
• Your doctor or a counselor. Grief after suicide can bring guilt, anger and questions. A therapist who works with loss can help. See grief counseling vs. therapy.

The CDC reports that 48,824 people died by suicide in the US in 2024. You are not the only one going through this, even if it feels that way.

If you are a friend or coworker, our guide on what to say at a funeral can help. Say the person's name, share a good memory, and avoid asking why it happened.

What to do next

1. Ask the medical examiner or coroner for an expected release date, and ask the funeral home to wait to set a date until you have one.
2. Decide who will talk to the funeral home and clergy, and who will handle calls.
3. Decide what you want to say about the cause, and write it down so the family says the same thing.
4. Locate any life insurance policies and ask the insurer for the policy terms.
5. Reach out to one support option for yourself this week.