Stillbirth Funeral Options: Burial, Cremation and Help

After a stillbirth, you can choose burial, cremation, a small private service, a memorial later or no ceremony at all. You usually do not have to decide in the first hours. The paperwork and the rules for handling your baby's remains depend on your state and on how far along the pregnancy was, and the funeral director or the hospital's bereavement team can usually explain what applies to you.

The CDC defines stillbirth as the loss of a pregnancy at or after 20 weeks. About 21,000 babies are stillborn in the US each year, roughly 1 in 175 births, according to the CDC's figures from 2021. However it happened, you are not alone, and there is no right way to say goodbye.

What do you need to decide first?

Very little has to be decided right away. These are the questions that usually come up first:

• Time with your baby. Many hospitals let parents spend time with their baby, and some have cooling cots, often called CuddleCots, that allow a longer stay in the room. If it is not offered, ask.
• Keepsakes and photographs. Footprints, handprints, a lock of hair, a blanket or a hospital bracelet are common. Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep offers free professional remembrance portraits to parents who have lost a baby, and you can find a photographer through its website. Some parents choose to store the pictures and look at them later.
• Who will care for your baby next. Ask the care team which funeral homes they work with. You can use any licensed funeral home, and you can ask whether the home has experience with infant loss.
• Whether you want an autopsy. This is your decision. Your obstetrician or a maternal-fetal medicine specialist can explain what testing can and cannot tell you.

What paperwork is required?

The details change by state.

• Stillbirth registration. The CDC counts stillbirth from 20 weeks. In California, a fetal death at or beyond 20 weeks must be registered with the local registrar within eight calendar days and before any disposition. Other states have their own deadlines and forms, and the funeral director usually handles them.
• Certificate of stillbirth. Some states let parents request a certificate of stillbirth or birth resulting in stillbirth, in addition to the fetal death record. In California, a mother or father can request one for a fetal death at 20 completed weeks or more, and it states that it is not proof of a live birth. Ask your state's vital records office whether you can get one.
• Born alive and then died. If a baby is born alive, even briefly, a birth certificate and a death certificate are usually needed, whatever the number of weeks.
• Before 20 weeks. The rules differ more widely. The hospital may offer to handle the remains, or you may be able to arrange burial or cremation yourself. See our guide on miscarriage memorial options.

If you are unsure, ask the hospital's social worker or bereavement coordinator, the funeral director, or your state's vital records office.

What are your options for your baby's remains?

• Burial. Small caskets are available, and some cemeteries have a section set aside for babies. Our guide to child-size caskets covers sizes and prices. Ask whether the cemetery charges for opening and closing the grave or for a marker, and whether it has discounts for babies.
• Cremation. Many families choose cremation and then keep, bury or scatter the ashes. See our guide to infant urns. If a hospital or crematory offers a shared arrangement, ask exactly what happens to the ashes and whether they can be returned to you.
• Direct burial or cremation. The funeral home handles the arrangements without a formal ceremony, and you can hold a private gathering or memorial later. Our guides on direct cremation and direct burial explain the difference.
• Gentler methods. Some states allow water-based cremation (aquamation) or natural burial. Availability varies, so ask providers near you. See aquamation by state and our green burial guide.
• Taking your baby home first. Some families hold a home vigil before burial or cremation. Rules depend on your state and the hospital, so ask first. See bringing a baby home before the funeral.

The FTC says no state law requires routine embalming for every death, so you can ask the funeral home about other options.

What can a service look like?

There is no required format. Some families choose a graveside gathering with a few readings, a naming and blessing, or a moment of silence. Others hold a memorial weeks or months later, or only a quiet ritual at home, such as lighting a candle, planting a tree or reading a letter to the baby. Your faith community can help if you want a blessing or prayer. Our guides on funeral service types and memorial services show what each looks like.

Brothers and sisters often do better when they are told the truth in simple words and given a choice about taking part. They might draw a picture or choose a toy to place with the baby. See children at funerals.

How much does it cost, and who can help?

There is no reliable national average for a baby's funeral, so use these questions instead of a number:

• Does the funeral home reduce or waive its professional service fee for a baby?
• Does the cemetery charge for the grave space, opening and closing, or a marker, and is there an infant discount?
• What are the crematory and container charges?

The FTC Funeral Rule gives you the right to get prices by phone, to receive a written General Price List and to choose only the goods and services you want. Under the rule, you must also get an itemized statement before you pay. See our General Price List guide and children's funeral costs.

Help may be available:

• TEARS Foundation. This US nonprofit offers financial assistance and grave markers for infants from 20 weeks of pregnancy to one year, but only in specific states and some counties. You apply online and it says someone will be in touch within 48 hours.
• Hospitals, faith groups and local funds. Ask the hospital social worker and the funeral home.
• England. The Children's Funeral Fund for England pays burial fees and cremation fees, including the cost of a doctor's certificate, plus up to £300 toward a coffin, shroud or casket. It covers a baby stillborn after the 24th week of pregnancy and any child under 18, is not means-tested, applies to burials and cremations in England, and claims must be made within six months of the funeral.

See also what to do if you cannot afford a funeral.

What is different in the UK?

GOV.UK says a stillbirth in England and Wales should be registered within 42 days. In Scotland, the time limit is 21 days. Parents who lose a pregnancy before 24 weeks in England can request a free baby loss certificate. It is a commemorative document, not a legal one. The charity Sands has a helpline at 0808 164 3332.

Where to find support

• Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support offers online and in-person groups, peer support and a helpline at 1-800-821-6819. It supports parents, grandparents, siblings and friends.
• The Compassionate Friends supports families after the death of a child of any age, with local chapters, online groups and a helpline at 877-969-0010.
• Your care team. Ask the hospital about bereavement counselors and follow-up visits. Your obstetrician, midwife or primary care doctor can also help with your own recovery.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988 at any time if you are in distress.

What to do next

1. Ask the care team how long you can spend with your baby and what paperwork your state requires.
2. Choose a funeral home and ask for a written price list and any reduced fees for babies.
3. Decide on burial, cremation or a later memorial, and leave other decisions for when you are ready.
4. Ask about financial help and about support for your family.