Private Family Viewing: How It Works, Timing and Cost

A private family viewing is a scheduled time when close family see and spend time with the person's body before a public service, burial or cremation. It is arranged through the funeral home and limited to the people the family invites. The law does not require embalming for it in most cases, and the FTC suggests asking whether the funeral home offers private family viewing without embalming.

What is a private family viewing?

The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) glossary defines a visitation as a gathering with the body present, where family and friends offer condolences. It says viewing and wake mean the same thing. A private family viewing is that gathering kept small: spouse, children, parents, siblings and anyone else the family chooses.

It can stand alone or sit alongside other events. Families use it in several ways:

• Before a public visitation or funeral, so the immediate family can be with the person first.
• Instead of a public viewing, with a closed-casket funeral or a memorial later.
• Before cremation, as a chance to say goodbye. Ask the funeral home and crematory what they offer.
• Before a burial with no service, as the only gathering with the body.

Some people find seeing the body helps them accept that the death has happened. Others would rather not, and that is a valid choice. No one should be pressured either way. If family members disagree, see open vs closed casket for ways to compromise.

Is embalming required for a private viewing?

Usually not by law. The FTC states:

• No state law requires routine embalming for every death.
• Some states require embalming or refrigeration if the body is not buried or cremated within a certain time, and some states do not require it at all.
• Many funeral homes require embalming for public viewing as a policy, but this is not required by law in most states. In most cases refrigeration is an acceptable alternative.

The FTC advises consumers to ask whether the funeral home offers private family viewing without embalming. Funeral homes cannot say embalming is required by law when it is not, and they need your permission before they charge for it.

Timing affects what is possible, and the rules and each funeral home's policy differ. Ask the funeral director how long they can hold the body before embalming or refrigeration is needed, and when a viewing would be possible. See viewing without embalming.

How to arrange a private family viewing

1. Tell the funeral director what you want. Say it is private, who will attend and whether you want the casket open.
2. Ask about embalming. Ask whether the home requires it for this kind of viewing, and whether refrigeration is an option.
3. Pick a time and length. Ask how long you can have the room and whether the home can stay closed to others during that time.
4. Decide on clothing and a photo. Give the funeral home the clothes and a recent photo so the person looks familiar. See preparing the body for viewing.
5. Agree on where. Most viewings take place at the funeral home. Some families arrange a viewing at home. See home viewing without a funeral director.
6. Get the price in writing. Ask for the General Price List and the written statement of everything you choose.

What does a private viewing cost?

Funeral homes list each item on their General Price List (GPL), which the Funeral Rule requires them to give you when you start discussing prices or services. A private viewing can involve some or all of these:

• the funeral home's facility and staff time for the viewing, charged as a flat or hourly fee
• embalming or other preparation, only if you choose it or if state law requires it
• dressing and placing the person in a casket
• a casket, or a rental casket if the person will be cremated and the home rents them

Prices differ by home and region, and there is no reliable national figure for a private viewing, so ask each funeral home for a quote. Funeral homes must give prices by phone if you ask. Comparing two or three homes can show a real difference.

If you choose direct cremation, the provider does not include a viewing in that price. Ask whether a short viewing can be added and what it costs. See what is direct cremation.

Keeping it private

• Tell people directly by phone, text or a private message rather than in a public notice.
• Leave the time and place out of the public obituary. You can write that services are private at the family's request.
• If you want a public gathering later, say that details will follow. See memorial service vs funeral and what is a celebration of life.
• Ask the funeral home to confirm who is on the list before anyone arrives.

Children, faith and culture

Many families let children decide whether to attend. Explain what they will see and that the person has died and cannot feel pain. See children at funerals.

Religious practice varies. Traditional Jewish practice does not include viewing the body. In Islamic tradition the body is washed and shrouded, and burial usually takes place as soon as possible, often within a day. Many Christian families hold a visitation or wake. If the person belonged to a faith community, ask their clergy what is customary.

What to do next

1. Call the funeral home and ask what viewing options and timing they offer.
2. Ask about embalming and refrigeration.
3. Ask for the General Price List.
4. Decide who is invited and tell them directly.