Planning a Funeral Remotely: Steps, Transport and Paperwork

You can plan a funeral from another city, state or country. Most of the work happens by phone, email and video call with a funeral home near where the person died or where they will be buried. Start by confirming who has legal authority, get price lists from a few funeral homes, decide whether the body or ashes need to travel, and ask someone local to be your eyes and ears.

Who has the authority to make the arrangements?

State law, not distance, decides who can sign. Each state lists who controls a person's remains. In New York, a person named in a signed written instrument comes first, followed by the spouse, domestic partner, adult children, parents and adult siblings. In California, an agent under a health care power of attorney comes first, then the spouse, adult children, parents and siblings.

If you are the person with authority, you can usually sign from a distance. If you are not, the person with authority must approve the plan, and disagreements among relatives can stop things until they are settled. Our guides on who arranges a funeral and sibling disagreements over a funeral cover common situations.

How do you find and compare a funeral home from afar?

1. Decide which location matters most. A funeral home near where the person died can collect them. A funeral home near the burial place or where most mourners live may suit the service. Sometimes you use both.
2. Call two or three and ask for prices. The FTC Funeral Rule says funeral homes must give you price information over the phone, without requiring your name, address or phone number first. Ask them to email their General Price List, which the Rule says must include prices for direct cremation, immediate burial, transfer of remains, embalming, and forwarding remains to and receiving remains from another funeral home.
3. Ask for an itemized estimate in writing. After you make arrangements, the funeral home must give you a statement listing each item, its price and the total.
4. Ask for a video call or tour if the venue matters to you, and ask who will be your main contact.
5. Ask how they handle remote signing and payment, including whether they accept electronic signatures, and what payment methods they take.

You can supply your own casket or urn. The FTC says the funeral provider cannot refuse to handle one you bought elsewhere or charge you a fee to do so. See questions to ask a funeral director and find a funeral home.

Should the body travel, or should you cremate locally?

This is the biggest practical and cost decision when family lives far away.

The FTC notes that direct cremation and immediate burial don't require any form of preservation, and no state law requires routine embalming for every death. Some states do require embalming or refrigeration if the body is not buried or cremated within a certain time, and carriers or cemeteries may have their own requirements. Ask the funeral home to explain what applies to you. Our guide on transporting a body across state lines has more detail.

Moving cremated remains

• Mail: USPS says cremated remains may be shipped domestically only with Priority Mail Express. The inner container must be strong, durable and sealed, and the outer package must be a Priority Mail Express Cremated Remains Kit.
• Flying: TSA allows cremated remains in carry-on and checked bags, but recommends a lightweight wood or plastic container, since containers that show as opaque on an X-ray will not be allowed through security. TSA officers will not open the container. Some airlines restrict cremated remains in checked luggage, so check your airline before you travel.

See shipping cremated remains and flying with ashes.

What paperwork do you need when you are not there?

• The funeral home's authorization forms, such as the arrangement contract and, for cremation, a signed authorization. Ask how they accept signatures and what ID they need.
• Death certificates. They come from the state or local vital records office where the person died, and the CDC says the federal government does not distribute vital records. Ask the funeral home how many certified copies to order. See how many death certificates you need and how to get a death certificate.
• Permits for moving remains. The funeral home normally handles these, and requirements depend on the states involved.
• Military papers, such as a DD214, if the person was a veteran and you want to ask about national cemetery burial or honors. See veterans' burial benefits.

How do you include family who can't be there?

A funeral can be streamed, recorded or held as a hybrid event so distant relatives can take part. Ask whether the funeral home or venue offers it, and test the connection beforehand. See funeral live streaming, hybrid funeral services and attending a funeral virtually.

If you can't be there in person, you can still send flowers to the funeral home and ask for a guest book or recorded messages.

What if the person died in another country?

If a US citizen dies abroad, USAGov advises next of kin to contact the nearest US embassy or consulate. Consular staff can communicate with local authorities, explain how to send funds for necessary costs, help arrange return of remains or a local burial, and complete the Consular Report of Death of a U.S. Citizen Abroad. Because the embassy explains how to send money for costs rather than paying them, plan for the family, the estate or a travel insurer to cover them, and ask the insurer before you commit to anything.

Rules differ by country, and the process can involve translations, local permits and export paperwork. See what to do when someone dies overseas, repatriation costs, embassy assistance after a death and funeral while abroad.

Tips that make remote planning easier

• Name a local helper. A relative, friend or faith leader can deliver clothing, meet the funeral director and report back.
• Keep one shared document with contacts, costs, decisions and dates so relatives in different places see the same information.
• Write decisions down and confirm them by email, so nothing is lost between calls.
• Plan for time differences and ask about the funeral home's call-back hours.
• Don't feel pressured to decide fast. You can ask for prices from several homes before choosing one.

What to do next

1. Confirm who has legal authority to sign the arrangements.
2. Call two or three funeral homes and ask each for its General Price List.
3. Decide whether the body or ashes need to travel, and compare the total cost of each plan.
4. Order death certificates, and ask a local helper to be your contact on the ground.
5. Set up a livestream or recording for relatives who can't attend.