Questions to Ask a Funeral Director: A Practical Checklist

The most useful question to ask a funeral director is "Can I have your General Price List?" Under the FTC Funeral Rule, a funeral home must give you a printed copy to keep when you begin discussing prices, the type of funeral or specific goods and services. From there, the questions that matter most are what the one required fee covers, what is optional, what other charges will be added and what the total will be in writing.

What should I gather before meeting the funeral director?

The funeral director fills in the death certificate with details about the person who died, so having them ready saves time in the meeting. The CDC's handbook for funeral directors lists what is collected, including:

• Full legal name and Social Security number
• Date and place of birth, and last residence
• Marital status and the surviving spouse's name
• Parents' names, including the mother's name before her first marriage
• Education and usual occupation
• Whether the person ever served in the U.S. armed forces

The funeral director usually gets this from an "informant", who is typically the spouse, a parent or a child, in that order of preference.

Also bring:

• Any prepaid funeral contract or burial policy. Ask the family and look through papers before you sign a new contract, so you don't pay twice.
• Military discharge papers (DD-214) for a veteran. To schedule a burial in a VA national cemetery, the VA asks for the DD-214 or other discharge documents of the veteran or service member. Our guide to veterans' burial benefits explains what is available.
• A budget your family has agreed on. Decide together before you go in, so the number in your head is the number you hold to.

If you haven't chosen a funeral home yet, our guides to shopping for funeral homes and negotiating funeral prices cover how to compare several.

What questions should I ask about prices?

These questions put the Funeral Rule to work. Funeral homes must give you price information by phone if you ask, and you don't have to give your name, address or phone number first.

1. "Can I have your General Price List to keep?" The GPL lists every item and service the home offers and the price of each. The home must give it to you when you begin discussing prices, the type of funeral or specific goods and services.
2. "What does the basic services fee cover?" It is the only fee a funeral home is allowed to make non-declinable. It covers the funeral director's and staff's services and the home's overhead. Ask what it includes so that you are not charged again for the same thing further down the list.
3. "Is this price for a package or can I choose items separately?" You can't be forced to buy a package. You have the right to buy only the goods and services you want.
4. "What charges are not on this list?" Some costs are paid to other businesses on your behalf. The FTC calls these cash advance items. They can include the crematory fee, a newspaper notice, flowers or a clergy honorarium. The home must give you the prices if known, or a good-faith estimate, and a written statement of actual charges before the final bill is paid.
5. "Do you add a charge for arranging those items?" A funeral home may not misrepresent cash advance prices as its own cost. If it adds a markup or receives a discount or commission, it must tell you.
6. "Can I have the total in writing before I pay?" The home must give you a statement listing each good and service you chose, the price of each and the total cost.

For a line-by-line look at what appears on a price list, see our guides to the General Price List and funeral home fees.

What should I ask about embalming, caskets and other goods?

A few specifics are worth knowing before you sit down. A funeral home may not claim that embalming is required by law when it is not, and it must disclose that embalming is not required except in certain special cases. If a home says embalming is required for a viewing or for any other part of your plan, ask whether that is a legal requirement or the home's own policy. Our guide on what embalming is explains the process.

Funeral homes also cannot claim that a casket or other product will preserve a body indefinitely or protect it from outside elements unless that is true. Treat "sealer" or "protective" casket claims with caution.

What should I ask about care of my loved one and the service?

These questions aren't covered by price rules, so ask them directly and listen for clear answers.

• Where will my loved one be kept, and who will care for them? Ask whether the home has its own facility and refrigeration on site or uses another location.
• Who will be in charge of our service? Ask which staff member will be the main contact and whether that person will be at the service.
• What will we need to decide, and by when? Get a rough timeline for the viewing, service and burial or cremation.
• Can the service be personalized? Ask about music, readings, photos, a different venue and livestreaming for relatives who can't travel.
• Can we see the facility? Seeing the chapel and the rooms you would use helps you judge whether it feels right.
• What happens if we change our plans? Ask about cancellation and what you'd be charged.

What should I ask about paperwork, the cemetery and payment?

• Who files the death certificate, and how many copies should we order? Our guide to getting death certificates explains the process and why you usually need several certified copies.
• Will you report the death to Social Security and handle veterans' paperwork? Don't assume. Ask who is responsible for each notification and what the home needs from you.
• Will you coordinate with the cemetery or crematory? If a home says a cemetery or crematory requires you to buy a particular item, the Funeral Rule says it must identify and describe that requirement in writing.
• When is payment due, and what forms do you accept? Ask about deposits, payment plans and whether the home accepts a life insurance payout in place of up-front payment.
• If we move the service, what transport charges apply? Moving a body to another city or state adds fees, so ask for them in advance.

The Funeral Consumers Alliance's 10-step guide to choosing a funeral home gives one more rule of thumb: never sign a contract for more than you or your family can afford to pay. If you're stretched, ask about options with lower costs, such as direct cremation, immediate burial or a memorial service held later.

What are my rights if a funeral home won't answer?

The FTC says that if a funeral home refuses to answer questions or provide what you've asked for, you can contact the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, your state attorney general or your local Better Business Bureau. A refusal to share prices is also a good reason to call another home. Prices for the same service differ a lot between funeral homes, and you are free to shop around.

What to do next

1. Call two or three funeral homes and ask for prices by phone, or ask them to send the GPL by email.
2. Compare the same items, such as direct cremation or the basic services fee plus the items you want, across each list.
3. Ask each home for a written, itemized total that includes cash advance items.
4. Take your time, share the numbers with family and sign only when you're sure.