Prayers for a Funeral Service: Where They Fit, How to Choose

Prayers at a funeral usually come at a few set points: an opening prayer, prayers with the readings, a prayer of commendation or committal, and a closing blessing. Clergy normally lead them, and traditions such as Catholic, Jewish and Muslim services have set prayers. If you are planning the service, ask the officiant what is customary first, then decide which prayers or readings a family member or friend can say. This guide covers where prayers fit, what the main traditions use, and what to do if the group is mixed or non-religious.

Where do prayers fit in a funeral service?

The order changes between traditions, but prayers tend to fall in the same places.

1. Opening prayer or invocation. It welcomes the gathering and sets the tone.
2. Prayers with the readings. Many services include Scripture or other readings, sometimes with a psalm or a prayer in response.
3. Intercessions or prayers for the family. In many Christian services, these are short petitions for the person who died and for the people grieving.
4. Prayer of commendation or committal. This is the prayer that entrusts the person to God or marks the moment of farewell. It may be said in the church or at the graveside.
5. Closing blessing. The officiant ends the service with a blessing or benediction.

If you are building a program, list each prayer with the name of the person leading it. Our funeral service order template shows where they go in a written order of service, and the funeral music planner helps you place hymns and songs around them.

Who leads the prayers?

Usually the officiant: a priest, minister, rabbi, imam, monk or celebrant. Family and friends often read Scripture or a short passage, and some traditions have roles for lay readers. Ask what is open to you when you meet the officiant, before you ask relatives to prepare anything. If you are still choosing an officiant, see our guide to choosing a funeral officiant.

What prayers are used in different traditions?

The table is a general outline. Practice varies by community, denomination and family, so treat it as a starting point for a conversation with your clergy, not a script.

Christian services

Psalm 23 is one of the most used readings. The first line in the King James Version is "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." The Lord's Prayer is also widely used. Churches say it with different wording. For example, some say "debts" and others "trespasses," and Catholics traditionally omit the closing "For thine is the kingdom" from the prayer itself. Agree on one version with the clergy and print it so everyone says the same words.

In a Catholic funeral, the funeral liturgy includes prayers for the person who died and a final commendation after the Mass. Our guide to the Catholic funeral Mass explains the order. Readings at a Catholic funeral Mass are normally from Scripture. Ask the parish what music and other readings are allowed, and whether a family member may offer words of remembrance.

Jewish services

The Mourner's Kaddish praises God and does not mention death. It is traditionally said with a minyan, for eleven months after the death of a parent, and at each anniversary. El Malei Rachamim, sometimes described as the Jewish prayer for the dead, is chanted at funerals, unveilings and memorial services. Our guides to the Kaddish prayer and shiva explain more.

Muslim services

The janazah prayer is a communal obligation: if enough people pray it, the duty is met for the whole community. Muslims traditionally say "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un," which means "To God we belong and to Him we shall return," on hearing of a death. See our guides to the janazah prayer and Muslim funeral traditions.

Buddhist, Hindu and Sikh services

These services are typically led by monks, priests or community elders, and the chants and scriptures used differ between traditions. In some Buddhist traditions, such as Chinese Mahayana practice, chanting scriptures is meant to help the person who died by transferring merit. See our guides to Buddhist funeral traditions, Hindu cremation and Sikh funeral traditions.

What if the group is mixed or not religious?

You do not have to choose between a full religious service and no spiritual note at all. Options include:

• A moment of silence. Invite guests to pray in their own way or simply remember.
• A short inclusive reflection. A few lines of gratitude or hope that do not assume one belief.
• A poem or reading that speaks of love, nature or memory. Our guide to readings for a funeral service has ideas.
• A celebrant. Humanist and civil celebrants lead services with no religious element. See humanist funeral celebrants.

If one side of the family is religious and the other is not, it can help to have the officiant say a short prayer and then invite everyone to join in or reflect in silence. Our guide to interfaith funeral planning covers this.

A short example you can adapt for an inclusive gathering:

We are here to remember a life that mattered. We are thankful for the time we had, and for the love that goes on in the people who knew and loved [name]. Whatever each of us believes, let us take a moment now to hold [name] and one another in our hearts.

Can you print prayers and Bible verses in the program?

Older prayers and texts in the public domain are usually fine. Modern translations and prayer books are often protected by copyright. Each Bible publisher sets its own rules. For example, the ESV publisher allows up to 500 verses to be quoted without written permission, provided the quotation is not more than half of any one book of the Bible or 25% of your total work, and it asks for the initials (ESV) after the quotation in church bulletins. The King James Version is in the public domain in the US. Check the rules for any modern translation or prayer book you use, or ask your church, which often has a license.

How do you read a prayer aloud when you are grieving?

• Print it in large type with generous spacing. Do not read from a phone screen. A larger size makes it easier to find your place if your eyes fill with tears.
• Practice aloud a few times, so the words and names feel familiar. You will stumble less if you know where the hard parts are.
• Check names and pronunciation with the officiant, and write them out phonetically if needed.
• Ask a friend to stand with you. If you cannot finish, they can take the page and go on.
• Pause and breathe. Silence feels longer to the reader than to the room.

Our guide to eulogy delivery tips has more advice on standing up to speak.

What mistakes should you avoid?

• Choosing without asking the clergy. Some traditions restrict what can be read during the ceremony.
• Picking a prayer that excludes many guests. If many guests are of different faiths or none, pair a formal prayer with a moment of silence.
• Too many readings. Two or three well-chosen pieces are easier to hear than six in a row.
• Leaving out names. Give the officiant the person's full name and any nicknames, plus the names of family members to mention.
• Not printing the words. If guests are meant to say a prayer together, put it in the program.

What to do next

1. Meet or call the officiant, and ask what is customary and which parts family can read.
2. Choose two or three prayers or readings, and give the officiant the names they should use.
3. Ask who will read each one, and give each reader a large-print copy.
4. Put the prayers in your program so guests can follow. See our funeral service order template.