Memorial Candles: Types, Safety and Ways to Use Them

A memorial candle is a candle lit in memory of someone who has died. It can stand beside a photo at a funeral, sit on a shelf at home, or be lit on an anniversary or birthday. You can use a real flame or a flameless LED candle, and a plain candle in a safe holder means as much as an engraved one. Whichever you pick, keep real flames at least 12 inches from anything that can burn, and never leave one alone.

What kinds of memorial candle are there?

The names overlap, and sellers use them loosely, so look at the size, burn time and material rather than the label.

Our guide to virtual eternal flames explains how online candles work and what to check before you rely on a site.

How do you choose a memorial candle?

Start with where it will sit and who will be near it, then decide how personal you want it to be.

• Size and burn time. A large pillar suits a service where one candle burns for an hour or two. A small jar is easier to light briefly at home.
• Wax. Soy, beeswax and paraffin are the common choices. Choose by price, scent and how clean you like the burn. Pick unscented candles for a service or any room with many guests, since scent can bother people with allergies or asthma.
• Holder. Look for a sturdy glass or metal holder that will not tip. A holder that is wide and stable matters more than the label design.
• Personalization. A photo, name and dates are enough. Long poems in small type are hard to read from a distance.
• Color. Colors are personal. White is common at formal services, but there is no rule, so pick the one that feels right to you.

If you are also looking at urns, jewelry and other keepsakes, the Memorial Keepsake Finder compares options by budget.

How do you use a memorial candle at a service?

Candles are a gentle way to mark a moment in a funeral or celebration of life.

• On a memorial table. Place a candle beside a photo, flowers and a guest book. Keep it away from programs, flowers and drapes.
• As a lighting moment. A family member lights the candle near the start, often with a few words, a poem or a moment of silence.
• As a shared ceremony. Guests each light a small candle from one central flame. Our funeral candle ceremony guide explains how to run one safely.

Check with the venue first. Churches, funeral homes and event spaces often have their own rules about open flames, and many offer flameless candles for this reason.

How can you use a candle at home?

There is no required routine. Some people light a candle on the person's birthday, on the anniversary of the death, on holidays or on days that feel hard. Others light one each evening for a while. Some keep a small shelf with a photo, a candle and a few objects.

A simple way to use it:

1. Put the candle in its holder on a hard, level surface, away from curtains, paper and the edge of a shelf.
2. Light it only when you are in the room.
3. Spend a few minutes with a photo, a memory or in silence.
4. Put the flame out before you leave the room or go to bed.

Whatever you decide, it is a personal ritual, not a treatment. If grief is not easing over time or is getting in the way of daily life, talk to your doctor or a grief counselor. Our guides to grief and the holidays and the first anniversary of a death cover the difficult dates.

How do you light a candle safely?

Ready.gov advises keeping candles at least 12 inches away from flammable materials, or using flameless candles instead. It also warns against leaving children unattended near burning candles, even for a short time.

• Never leave a burning candle alone, and keep it out of reach of children and pets.
• Use a stable holder, and do not put a candle on a surface that can scorch or tip.
• Keep it away from drafts, curtains, decorations and other candles.
• Put it out before you leave the room or go to sleep.
• Use an LED candle if you want a light that stays on, or if anyone in the home might forget a flame.

What is a Jewish yahrzeit candle?

In Jewish tradition, yahrzeit is the yearly anniversary of a death, observed by the Hebrew date rather than the calendar date. According to My Jewish Learning, a yahrzeit candle is lit at sundown on that date and is meant to burn for the entire 25 hours, from sundown on the eve through sunset on the yahrzeit day.

Yahrzeit candles are also known as yizkor candles because they are lit on four holidays that include memorial services: Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, Passover and Shavuot. The same source notes that electric alternatives exist for fire safety concerns. Whether one is suitable is a question for your rabbi or community.

Other faiths and cultures have their own candle customs. If a candle is part of a religious observance for you, ask your faith leader what is expected.

Can you put a candle on a grave?

Often you cannot. The VA's NCA Directive 3425 lists candles and breakable items such as vigil lights and glass among things that are not allowed on gravesites in VA national cemeteries. State, city and private cemeteries make their own rules, and many have their own limits on candles and glass, so ask before you bring one.

A flameless LED candle may be accepted at some cemeteries, but ask the office first. Our grave decoration rules guide explains what cemeteries usually allow and how to check.

What other tributes pair well with a candle?

A candle often sits with other small memorials. Ideas include a memorial ornament, a memorial garden stone, a QR code memorial that links to photos and stories, or a memorial bird feeder in the yard. If you have ashes at home, see our guide to keeping ashes at home. The US cremation rate was 62.8% in 2025, according to the Cremation Association of North America, so many families do have ashes at home.

For more ideas, see living memorial ideas.

What to do next

1. Decide where the candle will sit and whether a real flame or an LED candle is safer there.
2. Check any rules at the venue, church or cemetery before you bring candles.
3. Pick a simple holder and a label you can read, or none at all.
4. Choose a time to light it, and keep it as short or as long as feels right.