Infant Funeral FAQ: Options, Legal Steps, Costs and Support

You can take your time after losing a baby. There is usually no rush to choose a funeral home in the first hours, and you can ask the hospital for time with your baby, photographs and keepsakes. What the law requires depends on your state and on whether your baby was stillborn or born alive. A funeral service is not required, and burial, cremation, a small private gathering or a later memorial are all your choice.

This FAQ covers the questions parents ask most: the first hours, paperwork, your options, costs, financial help and where to find support.

What happens in the first hours?

If your baby died in a hospital or birthing center, the first hours can blur together. You may be asked about paperwork and funeral homes quickly. You can say you need more time.

• Time with your baby. Hospitals often offer this, and some have cooling cots, often called CuddleCots, which let your baby stay in the room longer. If it is not offered, ask.
• Keepsakes. Footprints, handprints, a lock of hair, a hospital bracelet, blankets and clothing are common. Bereavement staff can often help.
• Photographs. Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep provides professional remembrance photography to families at no cost. Some parents choose to have the images stored and look at them later.
• Names and blessings. If you want a naming, a blessing or a chaplain, ask the hospital. You can also do this yourself.

What paperwork is required?

The details change by state, and by whether your baby was born alive.

• Stillbirth. The CDC defines stillbirth as the loss of a pregnancy at or after 20 weeks. States set their own reporting rules. In California, for instance, a fetal death at or beyond 20 weeks must be registered within eight calendar days and before any disposition. A funeral director usually helps with the forms.
• Certificate of stillbirth. Some states let parents request a certificate of stillbirth or birth resulting in stillbirth, in addition to the fetal death record. In California, the mother or father can request one for a fetal death at 20 completed weeks or more. The certificate says it is not proof of a live birth. Check with your state vital records office.
• Born alive, then died. If a baby is born alive, even briefly, both a birth certificate and a death certificate are usually needed, no matter how many weeks of pregnancy.
• Before 20 weeks (miscarriage). Rules differ more widely. The hospital may offer to handle the remains, or you may be able to choose burial or cremation yourself. See our guide on miscarriage memorial options.
• Sudden and unexpected death. If a baby under one dies suddenly with no obvious cause, the CDC notes that a thorough investigation is needed. A medical examiner or coroner may be involved, which can delay the release of your baby to a funeral home. See our guide on coroner investigations.

If you are unsure what applies, your hospital's bereavement coordinator or social worker and the funeral director can tell you. You can also call your state vital records office.

Do we have to hold a funeral?

No. A formal funeral is not required by law, although some states require registration of the death and rules for how remains are handled. Some families choose:

• A burial with a small graveside gathering
• Cremation, followed by a memorial or scattering later
• A private time at the hospital or at home
• A memorial months or years later, when they feel ready
• A quiet ritual such as lighting a candle, planting a tree or writing letters to the baby

For a short overview of how services are chosen, our guide on stillbirth funeral options goes through them in more detail.

What are the options for caring for your baby's remains?

• Burial. Smaller caskets are available, and some cemeteries may have a dedicated area for babies. Our guide to child-size caskets covers sizes and prices. Some families ask whether the baby can be buried in an existing family grave space. Cemeteries set their own rules, so ask.
• Cremation. Many families choose cremation and then keep, bury or scatter the ashes. Our guide to infant urns explains choices.
• Gentler methods. Some states permit water-based cremation (aquamation) and natural burial. Availability varies, so ask providers near you.
• Taking your baby home. Some families hold a home vigil before burial or cremation. Rules depend on your state and the hospital, and you may need a transport permit. See bringing a baby home before the funeral.

How much does an infant funeral cost?

Costs vary widely by location, funeral home, cemetery and whether you choose burial or cremation. No reliable national average exists for infant funerals, so use these questions instead of a number:

• Does the funeral home reduce or waive its professional services fee for a baby? Some do. There is no rule requiring it.
• Does the cemetery charge an opening and closing fee, a grave space fee or a marker fee? Ask about discounts for infant sections or donated spaces.
• Is there a crematory fee or a container fee?

The FTC Funeral Rule gives you the right to a written General Price List, to pay only for what you choose and to get an itemized statement before you pay. You can ask for this for a baby's funeral as well. For more on costs, see our guide to children's funeral costs.

Is there financial help?

Yes, although what is available depends on where you live.

• TEARS Foundation. This nonprofit offers funeral assistance for infants from 20 weeks of pregnancy to one year old. Its help is limited to specific regions, so check its website to see whether your area is covered. Applications are made online, and it says it responds within 48 hours.
• Local funds and faith groups. Hospitals, churches, funeral homes and community groups sometimes have funds for infant burials. Ask the hospital social worker.
• Crowdfunding. Some families raise money from friends and family. See our guide on funeral fundraising platforms.
• England. The Children's Funeral Fund for England helps with burial fees, cremation fees (including the doctor's certificate cost) and a coffin, shroud or casket up to £300. It covers children under 18 and babies stillborn after 24 weeks, and is not means-tested. The burial or cremation must take place in England, and claims must be made within six months of the funeral. It does not cover losses before 24 weeks.

How can we support other children and family?

Children often sense when something is wrong. Short, honest explanations help, and so does letting them decide whether to attend. Our guide to children at funerals offers ideas. Name a trusted adult to stay with each child and take them out if needed. Brothers and sisters can draw a picture, choose a toy or write a note to place with the baby.

Grandparents, partners and close friends grieve too, and often differently. It can help to name what each person needs.

Where to find support

• Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support offers online and in-person groups and a helpline at 1-800-821-6819.
• The Compassionate Friends has chapters in every state and a helpline at 877-969-0010.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can call or text 988 at any time if you are in emotional distress.
• Your care team. Ask the hospital about bereavement counselors and follow-up visits. Your obstetrician, midwife or pediatrician can also help.

What to do next

1. Ask the hospital or your care team how long you can spend with your baby and what paperwork is needed.
2. Ask the funeral home for a written price list and about reduced fees for infants.
3. Ask about financial help from the hospital social worker, charities and local groups.
4. Choose what feels right now, and leave other decisions for later.