Grave Decoration Rules: What Cemeteries Allow and Prohibit

Grave decoration rules are set by each cemetery, so there is no single national list. Most allow fresh flowers in an approved container and limit or ban glass, candles, lights, shepherd's hooks and permanent plantings. The most reliable step is to ask the cemetery office for its written rules, including the dates it clears away decorations, before you leave anything.

Who decides what you can put on a grave?

The cemetery does. When a cemetery sells a grave, the New York Department of State explains, "it is not selling real estate." It sells the right of interment and the right to have a memorial. The cemetery keeps control of the grounds, so its rules and regulations, usually given to you when you buy or available on request, decide what can sit on the surface.

Who sets the rules depends on the type of cemetery:

• National and state veterans cemeteries follow published government policy.
• Municipal cemeteries are run by a city or county and often post rules online.
• Private and nonprofit cemeteries write their own rules, and the contract or rules document you received applies.
• Church and religious cemeteries may add rules tied to their tradition.

Cemetery regulation varies by state. Some states, such as New York, have a regulator that takes complaints about nonprofit cemeteries. Our cemetery rules and regulations guide explains what these documents usually cover.

What are the rules in VA national cemeteries?

The National Cemetery Administration's Directive 3425, issued July 16, 2025, sets the policy for every VA national cemetery. It says each cemetery will allow visitors to place floral arrangements and other seasonal items on gravesites while keeping the grounds safe and maintainable.

Directive 3425 lists the items that are not allowed:

• Balloons, pinwheels, shepherd's hooks, wind chimes, lights, statues, stuffed animals, alcohol and tobacco
• Permanent in-ground plantings, and containers you bring yourself (pots, planters, vases)
• Breakable items such as vigil lights and glass
• Candles, explosives, weapons and ammunition
• Objects that could become projectiles in mowing equipment, such as rocks and coins
• Anything placed on or attached to a headstone, marker or niche cover

The directive also recognizes that rocks and coins may reflect religious or military traditions, and it lets cemetery directors use discretion about when to remove them.

What does a city cemetery's rules look like?

As one example of a local cemetery, the City of Madison, Wisconsin publishes rules for Forest Hill Cemetery. Its rules page currently includes:

• Funeral flowers may be left on a grave after the service and are removed after two weeks
• Seasonal natural or artificial flowers are allowed from May 15 to September 15, in vases only
• Natural and artificial winter wreaths and arrangements are allowed from November 1 to March 1, with no glass ornaments or lights
• Wreaths may be propped against a marker or placed on a wire stand but not hung from shepherd's hooks
• Annual and perennial plantings are permitted around family monuments, within the lot boundaries
• Decorations should be removed after March 1 and after September 1, and staff store removed items for pickup before May 1 and November 1

This is one cemetery's policy, not a national standard. It shows the usual pattern of seasonal dates, limits on hooks and glass, and cleanup days, so your cemetery's rules may look quite different.

Can you add a permanent marker, vase or statue?

Usually only with the cemetery's approval. Cemeteries commonly regulate the size, style, placement and foundation of memorials, and some require designs to be submitted for approval before construction starts. Madison's cemetery, for instance, requires a monument contractor to submit design and specifications for approval, and it does not build foundations where no perpetual care fund has been set up.

Ask the office these questions before you order anything:

• Which marker types, materials and sizes are allowed in this section?
• Does the cemetery, or an outside dealer, install the foundation, and what do they charge?
• How long after a burial can a marker be installed?
• Are vases, benches, statues or plaques permitted, and where?

The Funeral Consumers Alliance warns that some cemeteries insist families buy a headstone from them or add an inspection fee for markers bought elsewhere, which it calls "legally questionable." See our guides to headstone regulations, types of headstones and grave markers and how long after a burial to install a headstone.

What happens to items that get removed?

Cemeteries remove items that break the rules and clear seasonal decorations on a schedule. VA national cemeteries store personal items, banned items and artificial arrangements in good condition for at least 30 days and help families collect them. Items not in good condition are thrown away without notice. Madison's Forest Hill Cemetery stores removed decorations for pickup before May 1 and November 1.

If something you left has disappeared, call the cemetery office, ask where removed items are kept and how long they are held. To avoid losing sentimental things, keep valuables at home. The VA directive says to avoid leaving items of value at gravesites.

How to check the rules for your cemetery

1. Ask for the written rules from the cemetery office, or find them on its website.
2. Find the clean-up dates. Note when decorations are cleared each spring and fall.
3. Choose items that fit the rules, such as fresh flowers in an approved container.
4. Get approval in writing before ordering or installing anything permanent.
5. Label personal items discreetly so staff can return them, and note what you left.
6. For a veteran's grave, follow the national cemetery's policy and leave nothing on the marker.

For tips on visiting, see visiting a grave after burial. To learn what perpetual care pays for, see perpetual care fees.

What to do next

1. Call or email the cemetery office and ask for the rules and seasonal clean-up dates.
2. Check your planned items against the list of what is allowed.
3. Get approval in writing before adding anything permanent.